A new change

At last after a really long while..i changed my blog.

hahah..i know its been stagnant and old for a long time..

hmmm...reality hasnt struck me just yet..im still enjoying this slacking life...its not good i know.

and...i know how ive been unsympathetic and unfeeling these few days...im sorry. I've been a listening ear to anyone in my fam or my frens..its just that these few days..i tend to ignore or just listen without any deep feeling or giving any advice..

i myself donno why..even i hate myself for it...even so i feel helpless. i want to try to help..but its just...im not sure myself..i cant seem to put them in my shoes...its always easy for me to do it and understand the situation last time...

so...im sorry if i havent been a good listener to anyone's problems..im really sorry..i'll try my best

these past few months...i just feel like im in somewhat of a paradise..

i did nothing, i enjoyed myself too much..i slacked like a sloth....my life just revolves around me,my comp,and the tv.

sometimes..i feel guilty,because while me being this happy-go-lucky girl that i've never been....there's another part of the world where others are struggling and suffering and dealing with life issues.

it just seems so unreal that im enjoying this much...its just not right...

my always filled inbox is now stagnant..i dont msg as much because i dont know what to say..i cant possibly say im enjoying life and slacking...

did i change?...im sorry..

its been really long since i last updated....

well life is still the same with nothing really new happenings.

that is why there have been no updates..hehe..

till then this blog will remain "dead"....

wait till school starts~..hehe

and btw a big congratulations to my lovely fren raidah!!!!<333

okay..soo its been half a month since i updated..kekek

so today was the day..although i didnt get wat i really wanted but im happy enough with where im posted to..alhamdulillah:)

so..my life revolves around computers and tv..haha. seriously,i never do anything except playing games,watch tv and vids. i dont even eat 3 meals anymore...keke

its really boring and lame..but like my sis says..tis is the time to relax,when school reopens no free time like this anymore.

so lets enjoy this moment till april?..hehe

to all,congratz:)

hmmph...i guess yesterday was stress relieving day...

i ate,spent and really spent...i felt guilty but when i asked my mum "mak...i spent alot..is it ok?"..my mum said" of coz..its your hard earned money"...hehe...i worry too much

its great relieving stress and everything...but it just..hmph...that thought always pop in my head...even if i said im over it..its still etched in me...there will never be a time where i totally forget about it...

life has to go on rite..why brood over it....things will get better eventually insyaallah...

for me and us......it will somehow become better...

haih...with me idling at home watching tv,comp,eat,read...its no wonder my imagination went wild.....hehe..

just hoping for the best..ameen

so today was the "day"..and it sure sucks..heh..

im disappointed and soo forth....but after bawling my eyes out...im over it.

its been..hmm...5 years since i cried this much...and tat was during psle results..haish...wat a memory..

my eyes are red and puffy..hahah...stupid me...i should have just remained composed...but i guess i was unable to..

im sory dad and mum..its not the best of me..and i know i was shocked too by my results..heh

on a side note..im happy im able to at lastttt!!!! pass my amaths..although its a bad pass but at least...hehe.

and to the teachers..im so sorry i disappoint you guys with my bad grades....i'll do better in future and show that an average student like me can be successful and make you guys and me proud...

its true...i've always felt low about myself...i'll change that this year...i want to do my best and prove myself that i can do better.

failure is the mother to success.....ive failed a lot of times..and i understand the feeling of reject..this is only the beginning for me...heh. im determined..go go!!

wow..rambling so much..hahah

2010..a better year for me,us and them:)

like everyone else...... this uncertainty feeling.. anxiety and somehow.. anguish..

haih...ahhh....i wonder how tmr....i dont know how i would react be it bad or good...i just hope...it will turn out good and everyone does good too.....:)

its really nerve-wrecking..... i hate this...well the truth will be out tmr....TT.TT

im......currently idling at home....hahaha

this january..lets just stay at home and rot..kekek

im not sure if i want to go and find a new job...i want the money..but im lazy to work..tsk tsk stk

as the day approach me....my heart...ahhhh....i cant stop myself not thinking about it...every single day will it haunt me..

"are you not confident?"....hai..yes mum...im not....

well..amidst all these "problematic" issues....at least my fandom keep me alive...hehe

new news = good news..recently...hehe...

hope there'll be more..

*praying hard*

Its the 3rd day of 2010 already..one word.."wow"...seriously its so fast

a lot of things happened this year whether its good or bad....and ive gained lots of experiences...

its a new beginning and a new future but it stills stay bleak and blur for me....

the results are coming REALLY soon...and im not prepared...there's this huge burden weighing on me that i feel like going crazy...its the same for everyone i guess\

i dont even know what im going to do after this...its a whole new world~ out there..

I just hope for the best..hehe

well...talking about "best"...the chalet was great!...i miss you guys soo much i didnt even realise it..keke...talking all way till 3am..is really fun but exhaustion will surely conquer you later on..hheheh

and that "play with hair" session..hahahha..i like although its totally absurd..hahahah

thanx to marinah for the hard-worked video compilation..its really nice:)

2010..a big number huh...well...pls do bring in bigger happy events..heh

a nightmare...ive not been having one since......i dont even remember..

but i did....yesterday....

and it sure was my worse nightmare....olvl results...

i know its only a dream...but i cant stop myself from thinking that that could be reality...

i did badly for it...and i cried...i even woke up with tears still flowing down my cheeks...

my heart was still aching when i woke up...

it seemed so surreal....maybe ive been too stressed about it as its less than a month for the result to be in my hand..and with frequent questions abt my o's by my colleagues...its been a burden..

i hope its not true....i hope i did better than wat my dream says....pls......