Get Real

reality has really struck me now...seriously.

the quizzes that i have to do on that APB prog...is not as easy as 1.2.3....its not wat i expected it to be. well..wat do i expect, im in higher-learning..not secondary anymore..i need to put that in mind.

i didnt know log and ln can coincides each other...and there's so much more to muscles and nervous system..

sarcomeres,action potential...somehow i prefer maths than bio..cos there's too much to remember haha.

next week,i'll start the face to face session...so its like im going to school..no diff actually. mon to thurs...3-6 hrs...

and im actually kinda intimidated..although i'll know i'll be able to meet new frens earlier than others...haish..u know how it feels...nerve-wrecking i shud say.

*sigh*....i just hope i can handle it...hope im not so obviously slower than others in understanding haha...and i do heard there's like smart geeks in my course...huhu...i may be a geek but not a smart one which is....BAD...

lets just see then...*breathe..breathe

and soo.last week i had a blast..hehe and it sure was a blast to me till i got sick...i am so weak

lets see...i had a great "slumber party" with beloved frens at raidah's awesome chalet cum party reunion..or watever the name is haha. followed by bowling, endless eating, laid back-ing,human spin-around.

then had class reunion/outing with super sec4p at marina barrage...i admit going there and back made me irritated cos its still quite unaccessible..and there's lots of junkies that made me rofl..haha..cute actually and all those picture taking..until that sickening sore throat just emerge out of nowhere..haizz

fri was a really tiring yet fun day...went out to take cert then movies and so forth with nadia..i acknowledge my exhaustion but i just didnt want to miss such a day..its hard since ure schooling and im not..hehe <33

all this = sick for the next few days with disgusting phlegm and mucus and cough and runny nose..heeehee >_<...

but that week was the best for me...to me spending time with loved ones are precious..i wouldnt want to miss it if possible.

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This week..im okay now but cough is really hard to go away..haha.

and soo i went to my old sch..met raidah and tchs...aww..i miss it soo much...<33.>

But...to my excitement..i have a prog to attend to..since my bio n amaths got unsatisfactory grades..huhuu...its really such a short notice..

I HAVENT REVISE A THING IN 4MNTHS!!!

TT.TT...im soo dead..i forgot nearly evrything..fortunately still have my textbks with me..heh...so i gotta work2 fast...study and remember back everything!!!

so frm 26march to 9april...no going out fr me..12-16 orienation...and wala~~ 19april..the start of schooling. Good luck aisyah...school life's gonna haunt you~~~boooo

and i just realised how long this post is...well..xDD

Freakoo~~

hehe..things brightened up a lil but "sumtin" just pulled me back for awhile...but i wont let it bring me down..=D must think positively.

well,this few days...ive become a weird freak...actually its not like i wanted to be one..it just so happen its me..lol

i wonder too if my personality really matches that of an AB type..hahha..i dont believe it of course just for fun..heheh

for me..non-living things have feelings too..i donno why but i have this thing about i have to use my things fairly or they will feel hurt and sometimes things listen to me..

is it that weird?noo ritee...?hehe..ive been like that since young. and i always start with the righthand first no matter what i do..be it wearing socks or brushing teeth.

hmmph..i totally live in my bambam world then..hahaha. ahh..i wonder if other people out there can accept me as i am..haha

A new change

At last after a really long while..i changed my blog.

hahah..i know its been stagnant and old for a long time..

hmmm...reality hasnt struck me just yet..im still enjoying this slacking life...its not good i know.

and...i know how ive been unsympathetic and unfeeling these few days...im sorry. I've been a listening ear to anyone in my fam or my frens..its just that these few days..i tend to ignore or just listen without any deep feeling or giving any advice..

i myself donno why..even i hate myself for it...even so i feel helpless. i want to try to help..but its just...im not sure myself..i cant seem to put them in my shoes...its always easy for me to do it and understand the situation last time...

so...im sorry if i havent been a good listener to anyone's problems..im really sorry..i'll try my best

these past few months...i just feel like im in somewhat of a paradise..

i did nothing, i enjoyed myself too much..i slacked like a sloth....my life just revolves around me,my comp,and the tv.

sometimes..i feel guilty,because while me being this happy-go-lucky girl that i've never been....there's another part of the world where others are struggling and suffering and dealing with life issues.

it just seems so unreal that im enjoying this much...its just not right...

my always filled inbox is now stagnant..i dont msg as much because i dont know what to say..i cant possibly say im enjoying life and slacking...

did i change?...im sorry..

its been really long since i last updated....

well life is still the same with nothing really new happenings.

that is why there have been no updates..hehe..

till then this blog will remain "dead"....

wait till school starts~..hehe

and btw a big congratulations to my lovely fren raidah!!!!<333

okay..soo its been half a month since i updated..kekek

so today was the day..although i didnt get wat i really wanted but im happy enough with where im posted to..alhamdulillah:)

so..my life revolves around computers and tv..haha. seriously,i never do anything except playing games,watch tv and vids. i dont even eat 3 meals anymore...keke

its really boring and lame..but like my sis says..tis is the time to relax,when school reopens no free time like this anymore.

so lets enjoy this moment till april?..hehe

to all,congratz:)

hmmph...i guess yesterday was stress relieving day...

i ate,spent and really spent...i felt guilty but when i asked my mum "mak...i spent alot..is it ok?"..my mum said" of coz..its your hard earned money"...hehe...i worry too much

its great relieving stress and everything...but it just..hmph...that thought always pop in my head...even if i said im over it..its still etched in me...there will never be a time where i totally forget about it...

life has to go on rite..why brood over it....things will get better eventually insyaallah...

for me and us......it will somehow become better...

haih...with me idling at home watching tv,comp,eat,read...its no wonder my imagination went wild.....hehe..

just hoping for the best..ameen

so today was the "day"..and it sure sucks..heh..

im disappointed and soo forth....but after bawling my eyes out...im over it.

its been..hmm...5 years since i cried this much...and tat was during psle results..haish...wat a memory..

my eyes are red and puffy..hahah...stupid me...i should have just remained composed...but i guess i was unable to..

im sory dad and mum..its not the best of me..and i know i was shocked too by my results..heh

on a side note..im happy im able to at lastttt!!!! pass my amaths..although its a bad pass but at least...hehe.

and to the teachers..im so sorry i disappoint you guys with my bad grades....i'll do better in future and show that an average student like me can be successful and make you guys and me proud...

its true...i've always felt low about myself...i'll change that this year...i want to do my best and prove myself that i can do better.

failure is the mother to success.....ive failed a lot of times..and i understand the feeling of reject..this is only the beginning for me...heh. im determined..go go!!

wow..rambling so much..hahah

2010..a better year for me,us and them:)

like everyone else...... this uncertainty feeling.. anxiety and somehow.. anguish..

haih...ahhh....i wonder how tmr....i dont know how i would react be it bad or good...i just hope...it will turn out good and everyone does good too.....:)

its really nerve-wrecking..... i hate this...well the truth will be out tmr....TT.TT