ahh...although its good that its holiday....this word "fat" is taunting me..

"you're fat,go lose weight"...me:"i know,i'll lose it"

"go workout la..."....me:"im going to"

"fat,fat,fat,fat FAT!!!"......

"FAT is my enemy"..

full diet plan now:

everyday: 5mins of skipping,5 mins of sit ups,5 mins of jogging on spot.
: eat brunch, quaker oat or bread for dinner.
: stop snacking..have to remember tat really hard
: no fast food...minimum once every week.
: cut down on rice

yeap, thats how im gonna do for this whole time.....its not only for me to lose weight but get healthier. go go !!

WOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!

at LAST.........the whole month of crazy studying....it has ended.

ahhhh..........but as human this is wat i really feel..

when its near end...i cant wait for it to end.......but when it actually ended....i cant believe it..haha

welll.......im so glad it finished.....but results are nerve-wrecking......am trying best to not think abt it..heheh

am gonna parTEH~~~~.....

oh ya.....i wanna work...need some moneh..hehe....hmmm i wonder wat job suits me...

raidah! go go!!! its gonna end soon...aft that lets go do wat you want..hehe...shop till you drop and eat till you're fat..hahahah

staring blankly at the computer...

thinking......~~

oh ya.....i need to lose 10kg....hmmm too hard...5kg first...

people kept saying im fat....and i do feel im gaining weight....

....ahhhhh....i'll have to start exercising and dieting.....

.........its soo near yet so far......my ambitions and dreams.....my future....

...aft this exam...will i be able to achieve it?...its kinda become a habit where i'll stay awake and kept thinking abt my results....its a scary thing.

aish....all these......it is a neverending process....

i guess....time is the answer..?..hmmph....lets just order a cup of memory...


ahhhhhh... i misss you guys sooo much!!!!!!

today...

hmmmph.....a bittersweet day.

to think of it...i was happy...but i was sad....

that presence overwhelmed me...i felt GREAT...

my paper...i did bad.....i felt...depressed...

hmm.....3 more papers...3 more......its 3 more chu~

a special day.....:)


4th year..wooo!lets wish 4 more great things

we're just ordinary people...we dont know which way to go...

we rise and we fall...we feel feel like just walking...

coz we're ordinary people...maybe we should take it slow..

live and learn.....

.......helpless.......

i didnt know it would hurt me this much....

i didnt expect it to affect me this way.....

.............................................................................

i cant believe i repeat my mistakes.....

....how much i wanted to.....crying wont solve it.....pondering over it wont change it.....

huuuuh...am trying best to be happy....cheering up every now and then....only to find this feeling of lost....

its a wonder how i could keep up with a masked face.....

mayb because im used to...and am immuned to....

i want to be happy sincerely.....but i guess that will only happen after every obstacles,mine and tat someone have resolve...

its a shame how i feel this way while others with heavier burden dont say anything

i guess this is the only way to relieve myself.....hmmm TT.TT

its funny how i dreamt everything and it felt soo real..hehe

raidah...i dreamt of you yest....hahaha...you came to my house..and somehow marina was in my house too..hehe.

you looked frail...i hope you are not that bad now..heeh....and ya...i even escort you back to the hospital and spent a night with you...weird?ya...i guess too.

huuh.....it's still playing in my mind...just hoping for the best....double happiness aft O's please....heh

today....

wasnt great...
it started off okay....but then....

listening to those who are goood...and i mean really gd at irk....saddened by a few mistakes..which is like...2-3 marks...made me feel like...hai...
them...losing those marks...still they get an A....me..if i were to lose those...i donno mayb i could get an F...i got C for prelims....wat do i expect...

tats why...i m sorry but i avoid smarties....but i was stucked just now....i dont hate them...but i dont like how they discuss...huuh...its hard......they wont understand the feeling of failing again and again till you are tired of yourself and felt like giving up...only to get back to track thinking abt parents and tcrs facial expression of motivation....hmm

im worried abt O's now....it seems okay now...but those big ones like maths and science....fuuh...i know im not the only one....all of us have that worry weighing on our shoulders.....

and another one just strucked me.....and i tot it was over...
i just hope evrything will get back and be okay..was really worried...calling,moaning...crying?heh

aisyah,you can do it! go go!...sista u too!!^^

heyyo~~~

wah..long time no updates..hehe

sooo.....had a great time last week..a lot of walking,visiting,laughing and such...even rudeness..sorry if i were a bid tad rude and obnoxious..i dont know wat happen to me...setan!hahah.

but really on thurs..i was really exhausted...from 7am...making drinks,carrying that huge water dispenser in nice clothes..haha weird but its wat expected of my job for that day...perjumpaan hari raya have become a running,cleaning,serving chores for us..haha but it was satisfying..it was okay..heheh

visiting tcrs was really precious to me..especially those who have stopped teaching..it was really memorable..heh

this week is for me to study...but still....i find it hard to start studying back...im tired...but i HAVE to force myself..coz it is in the end for my own good....

wish me luck in studying and get better grades.....amaths A1!!!!!!...haish...

ahhh...raya pics....dont have..hehe

haa...im free from virusses..hehe..well not quite...the 3-in-1 package has bcome 2-in-1.

laying on top of the sofa for 3 days is no mean feat..ahhaha.

well..everythings fine now...except for my bad results...aish..mummy sorry will do better for o's okay. ahhh...hav to start study now....but am sooo reluctant.

i havent really celebrate raya...hmmph..i guess this coming thurs...wearing kurung to school can still be considered as hari raya wat...its the thought that counts..haha

hmmm....all my cravings...curb it..CURB IT!..........do well first...okay please......aisyah stop thinking...ahhhhh

my life is filled with hopes...heh....when its not fulfilled..that's when it hurts and bring me down...so hav to stop having tooo high a hope. aja!!