The year is going to end. 2013...should be a fresh new beginning, i guess.

Honestly, it's kinda scary for me. I have yet to make concrete decisions. I do have a plan for next year but, planning so much..you dont even know what's going to happen later on.

My dream....was to study overseas and get my degree, continue masters later on if possible. But, in my situation, as much as i know there's a higher chance for me to be accepted in various uni in Australia or UK compared to Singapore, i cant. Financially, i am unable to. And so, i've planned to try my best to get into SIT and then work....if no SIT, means i'll work for 2 years and study abroad (which i hope not).

But in life, you can plan so much without any definite results. That's why i hate making decisions and planning so ahead of time. Higher expectations would only mean more disappointment, and i dont want that.

I hate to say this...to be honest, i still have my doubts and hesitations about my future job prospective. A nutritionist, a nutrition researcher, a dietitian..? I am interested in writing a cooking book for healthier choices. I would love to bake and make a dessert recipe book  that includes alternatives to make it healthier and such. And i dream of opening a tea and cupcake shop. I have so much in mind, but i dont know which one..maybe do both at once? hahah like a fun~

To think about the future is a must, but i love living enjoying the present hahah. So currently, living in present and thriving for the best in what im doing right now is my priority. Well, sometimes it does sucks when things just screw up and your efforts are neglected but that's life, right.

I hope for a happy and successful 2013. I pray for the best, for myself, my family and my friends. May the force be with us!~~ ^_^

Most of the time, all the time actually.. i hate to be that person who don't know anyone, don't know what's going on...just ignorant of everything.

It's not like i want to be ignorant....and i do want to find out who/what/where/why. It's just that sometimes,things just get way over, i'm too outdated and then...i start giving up to find out more.

It's tiring for me to keep asking as much as people keep explaining to me.

But yeah....it is my fault for not being attentive in the beginning. I know....and i've been trying hard to be part of everything. So don't ever think i never even thought about it, never take the initiative whatsoever, i do care. Even i hate myself for being such an insensitive, ignorant person......i don't even know what's wrong with me.

Yesterday was the last day of term tests~~

As much as I 'suffered' during the day trying to stuff my brain with the crack load full of information, the paper was doable, everything that i went through came out, alhamdulillah :)

Spent the rest of the day with bestie, watched "A Werewolf Boy" . A movie I've been dying to watch, well firstly because of the intriguing plot, secondy, my OTP Song Joong Ki and Park Bo Young. Started shipping these two, while watching fancam of them promoting the movie. I know this ship wont go real, but i cant help myself, they looked damn cute and comfortable with each other.

So while waiting for the show, as usual, we went to the arcade and played basketball. Hahah, our favourite hang-out place. Released stress playing one of the game where you hit the mole continuously when it appears...hit till my arm felt numb hahaha.

So....the movie was really good. I like the plot, i like how everything made sense. I love how its very warm and fluffy and funny and then its sad and heartbreaking...it's bittersweet. It's a movie where i can go watch for a second time. It's that kind of movie where you'll go "aaawwww", and then cry your eyes out later. The people behind me specifically the guy was irritating the world out of me, i wanted to kill him. he was whining and complaining, i bet he was forced to go with his girlfriends. He kept comparing it with twilight, saying it's the korean twilight, oh dear god no. It's more like edward scissorshand. But it the end he was crying his eyes out like a baby, sniffing non-stop, i was distracted and can't really "feel" it and cry properly lol.

It ended quite late, and all the shops are closing, so we ended the day with chewy junior~  A day well spent for me, started depressing yet quite productive and tears and laughter in the end.

Holidays are starting for me, hurrah!!~~~ but i still feel quite bleargh by the fact that i have to keep checking my website and do more changes for my major project. But....i shall enjoy till next monday at least hehe.

Im not always fond of taking the initiative to speak to someone first if i dont know them that well....so i always appreciate it when the other person starts the conversation. It's awkward for me to start talking when we dont even talk that much.....and if we dont know that well, and im always the one talking first, i have this feeling that im annoying you or something. So...it was really nice to be able to continue the conversation since you started it first. I felt more relieved hahah. It's just my personality...it'll take time for me to talk to someone so casually and not sound like an awkward turtle trying to start a conversation..So, thank you for yesterday..(:

"You seems to be more into nutrition, right..?".....well, spot on~!

I Still Survive~

Well hello blog....it's been more than a year since i last update you.

Let's see......this past year, time passed by like a flash and guess what, there's only approximately 3 more months before i graduate. YESSS graduate and get the hell out of TP hahah. Nahh, it's not like i hate TP, i just wanna get it over, get the freaking diploma.

I'm blessed to be able to do my internship in Adelaide last May, a dream that i've been trying to fulfil since year 1....i'm thankful to my parents, to the awesome and nice ppl there and of course my partner,Natassha. I wouldnt be having so much fun there if i went with someone else that's for sure. I had the time of my life there, it's an eye-opener and a great experience for me. And although im 100% sure i wont be going to study there any sooner, hahah....i hope i'll be back there to take my masters or something InsyaAllah :)

And back to present day.......things have been going uhmm quite well but not quite. I have no problems with classmates whatsoever....studies are quite okay too...major project aint that good but thank goodness for teammates.

I realised something about me....i've been more laidback than ever....it's like im just trying to enjoy this last semester without any regrets....hopefully. I may get stressed up once in a while, but then i'll just shake it off with some tumblr-ing or watching dramas. I'll just shrug it off...the things that make me upset or disappointed....it is a good thing, right? hahaha

And as always, there's not much drama in my life....zilch...... oh there is one, when friends decided to matchmake me with someone..but no i am not interested so.....that shouldnt count. We' ll see how my life might be interesting from now on~~

Long draggy post, see you next time~~~~~~

Today was a mixture of feelings..... well i expected it. Its results day but its also a day out with my clique....kinda torn haha

i knew this was gonna happen...i screwed up my CA..so i deserved it. But as a human..when i see my gpa dropped..my heart just..... I dont want to be a wet blanket so i tried real hard to not shed a tear. The feeling of keeping it all in,holding back those tears...it pains. It really hurt me..i felt my heart wrenching literally from time to time and feeling breatheless when it comes. The disappointment i had in myself.......i cant even express.

People tried to cheer me up and i appreciate it all...but somehow it made me more emotional. Luckily i managed to hold it in stopping those tears from falling,smiling and laughing to erase all those emotions. Im just disappointed in myself..nothing else. it kinda made it worse seeing all my other frens scoring so well......heh

4 more sems..i need to score MUCH better..but i know its gonna be a harder journey down the road...good luck to me.

reading back my blog posts..i realized how much i changed as a person...good or bad...im not sure about that.

Through this 2 whole sem of poly, i found a bunch of great frens and i found a new me. Im still quite introvert when im not close with someone..but instead of staying inside my shell now i speak up. Instead of waiting for people to approach me,i took the initiative first..whether or not i want to be recognized haha.

I hope i changed for the better...because i realized how selfish ive been all this while..how insensitive and ignorant i was. Ive met more people and know more characters...i used to live in this small circle of community. Im now more used to the big world...opening up more than i used to. It made me more mature in thinking and more open-minded.

At nearly 3am in the morning and the whole reflecting thingy im blabbing is because tmr is the D-day..results!1 and im damn scared....just typing to make me less anxious about it..but seems like butterflies in my stomach aint going away haha.

Its been so long since i blog....and truthfully i really have no time to blog...just that i kinda dont wanna type it out bcos some things are better left unsaid..haha

Honestly...this sem have been awful..its exhausting physically and mentally. Just that i try to live day by day as it is,smile and laugh to cover all those breakdowns.

I cried twice in sch and i hate myself for it...eventho people didnt know about it. I have this thing about keeping things to myself and i know too much of it aint good,haha...so during those times where im at the edge, tears just fall down..and up came the puffy eyes~~ hahahahaha

practically its just a stressful and bad sem...whoever said poly life is easy..i'll hack you up. The amount of pressure i faced everyday is just too outstanding. Doing quiz every single day and its counted..idek.

well i hope i could get a 3.0 for GPA at least....i cant afford lesser than that.

And i hate that everytime i blog its about poly life lol....

Imma study hard and score as good as i can for sem exam and score for it insyaAllah...:)

Back from the trip yesterday! Safely alhamdulillah. So the trip was uber short,haha. I need a week trip b4 im satisfied >.<.. This is gonna be along post~~

1st Day:

Set off the bus at 8am and off we goto the Egg

Tech Industry...basically thats the factory where all the eggs are manufactured into hard boiled eggs,pasteurised eggs and so forth..so food chem lolol.

After spending abt an hour there,we went to Tuas Checkpoint(stupid thumbprint wont work -_-) and off to johor checkpoint. Hadlunch arnd 1pm and it sucked bcos we were segregrated into muslims and non-muslims..i wanted to eat with all my classmates :(. Since its two group consisting of 80 people,they told us its hard to get a halal place where they can accomadate us. The food was so-so...and its not 8 course meal its 8 dishes meal lol.

After lunch back to our journey to sightseeing at malacca if im not wrong. We went to this place where all the old buildings are conserved and went a bit of a shopping. Luckily i found a mosque there,i was so happy you dont even know cos i was worried i cant find a place to pray. My classmates waited for me outside while i prayed,im thankful at how understanding they are:))heartss..

After 45mins there,we continued our journey to Shah Alam after dinner for a night stay at Concorde hotel. The hotel was super nice! we spent our night playing ugly dolls,watching tv and talking(loudly).

2nd Day:

We went to take pictures near KLCC there befor going to High5 bread town to know more abt the bread industry,went to Thai cuisine restaurant for lunch. We ate together!!! was so happy heheh. after lunch we went to Beryl's choc factory..it was fun but time does not permit and we were really out of itinerary but i managed to but a bottle of white choc for my fam:) After that we're off to cameron highlands!! It was a freaking long ride,slept all my way thru mostly. And did i mentioned,in the bus we watched Cinderella stepsisters lol and some movies. It was dark when we finally "climbing" up to cameron and the windy roads were not obvious so i didnt felt dizzy or watsoever. funny incident, both busses were halted bcos a senor wanted to pee..lol.

At last reached cameron arnd 1030pm and yay got internet!! we played cards and used my laptop. Me and tassha talked until 2+am haha. it was awesome:))

3rd Day:

After breakfast,we went to BOH tea plantation. We took a small "Bas Sekolah" lol it was so squeezy and the bus ride was bumpy as the roads are super narrow. We saw how tea bags are made and manufactured. Took some pics with the awesome scenery behind us. Bought tea bags~~

We went to cactus/flower farm? hhaha.yeah just took some pics since we cant bring cactus back to SG,bee farm too where we got pissed off by these bunch of itchy bitchy seniors who called us retards just because we shouted in fear of bees >:(. Strawberry farm next but it was a failure,there's no strawberries to pluck so we went to another strawberry farm but guess wat that one also,but at least we get to touch and bought some starwberries home. And so because w e got some time,we went to pasar malam at Tanah Rata. bought snacks and more strawberries. Prayed at Cameron Highland Mosque before heading off to eat dinner at KFC and back to hotel to rest.Last night in cameron and we went to lobby to play cards and use the free wifii>.<.. as usual talked with tassha b4 falling asleep^__^.

4th Day:

eating strawberry keke,the scenery from our hotel.
drying strawberries to bring back home

Time to leave cameron T.T..i was sad because its not enough,wanted moooreee. We set off the old reaally windy road back to muar to visit the mushroom farm. Slept all my way thru back to SG~~~

The trip was quite short,i miss cameron highlands already~~~had so much fun with the girls hehehe..now im in SG which means....do ur PROJECTS!!!.....siaaannnz

pics credit to natassha~~ :))

Heellloooo bloooogg!!!

Tmr i'll be leaving singapore fr a 4d3n trip to malaysia. This will be the first time i'll be going with some of my A2 classmates for a study trip. Pretty excited but i just hope everything goes out smoothly tmr and i go and come back safely :)

Will be going to the plantations and factories in cameron highland to study how the food industry works...i shall anticipate that hehe.

I'll be doing my project also during my stay there..hahah no choice okay or else i'll rush thru everything and it'll make me bonkers~~

So yeah,will be back thursday nite...till then~~ :))